You thought Valentine's Day was all hearts and flowers? Think again…

Who doesn't love Valentine’s day? The assurance that on at least one day every year, there will be compliments, romantic gestures and gifts...
The friendly, heart filled greetings on social media, from friends and family...Well, while many people across the globe undoubtedly enjoy the intended spirit and positive aspects of the day, there are many who experience the down sides too. And they go far beyond the predictable disappointment caused by a forgetful spouse, the giving of cheap last minute gifts, or being single and lonely.

The emphasis which the day puts on romance and wooing a partner has always been a gift to boys and men whose main aim is to have sex.

Flattery, charm, insincerity and false promises are the tried and tested techniques used to get a girl into bed - and Valentine's Day demands them! The obligatory card full of words written by a stranger is just the beginning; just one element of the annual, prescribed ritual. Inexperienced females are easily won over by such gestures and often take the chance to fulfil their desires. After all, if you can't “make love” on a day dedicated to love, when can you?

The figures speak for themselves; A reported 3.7 million people lose their virginity on Valentine's day every year, and sales of condoms are higher both on and around it.

However, broken promises and dishonesty aside, consensual sex is not a concern. What is, is the number of women who are forced to have sex each year on this day. One part of the world where this is known to be a problem, is Cambodia. According to its Government, and to a UN study, Valentine’s day in the country has become "a day of rape".

Their Ministry of Education warned last year that "Valentine's day exposes the youth to rape. Boys can exploit the day and take advantage of girls, while girls sometimes are confused about what their role is on the day".

This is the most notable and extreme example, but ‘Valentine's Day Rape’ does occur at less widespread levels across all countries. According to figures from Pastor Johnson Enahoro of Nigeria, the global figure could be as high as 2.5 million.

As well as this, the day also has hugely negative implications on mental and emotional well being. According to an article on buzzfeed.com, in the United States, "studies suggest that Valentine's Day is "nationally, the time with the highest rate of suicide."

The director of one Suicide Prevention Service cited in the article said that the "expectation" to be in love, or feel better, often intensifies depressive thoughts". And as well as this, they reported that 1 in 10 adults feel lonely, insecure, depressed, or unwanted on Valentine’s Day, with 40% of the population associating the holiday with negative emotions".

A less serious downside of the day, but a fact nonetheless, is that cheating partners frequently become exposed on it or as a result of it. A cheater will often be caught out by tell tale credit card transactions for flowers, hotel rooms or expensive gifts, messages from lovers on their phone, or sneaky nights away on the 13th or 15th of February.

The 13th of February is often referred to sardonically as "Mistress Day" as it is the day most cheating men spend with their mistress - presumably to make up for not being able to spend the actual day with her. And one website which is designed to help people find a partner for an affair, found that the 15th of February is their busiest day for new subscribers. The reason, they theorise, is because Valentine's day makes many people realise how unhappy they are in their current relationship and motivates them to look for excitement elsewhere.

So, if your main complaint about Valentine's Day is being single and having nobody to buy you a card, you may be luckier than you think. And perhaps next year, after reading this article, those cheap flowers from the petrol station won't seem so disappointing after all.







References:

https://www.vice.com/en_uk/article/cambodia-valentines-day-rape-consent-phnom-pen

https://www.washingtonpost.com/amphtml/news/morning-mix/wp/2015/02/12/the-country-where-valentines-day-is-the-most-dangerous-day-of-the-year

https://www.inquisitr.com/1841830/valentines-day-cheating-is-on-the-rise

Written by Jennifer Menzies for SwaGG News Africa 

Jennifer Menzies

Posted by @pocarlee